No. YES. I can't believe it. I have just pushed the button and confirmed a flight to Mexico City from Chihuahua City.
A desire to see the pilgrimage of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the ancient temples at Teotihuacan. There was an introduction and an invitation; there's the moment to live or to regret later. Time flies and I can hardly believe it has been almost three years my visual odyssey has now rounded the bend and has led me to this point in time and inquiry to further and deepen my quest of connections beyond the borderlands and go to the heart of Meso America and make my own pictures to weave the tales.
Memories of my first travels south to Casas Grandes to photograph Juan Quezada and meeting Spencer and Emi MacCallum who invited me to stay for three months. I could never imagine it would lead me here to this half spontaneous decision. spurred on by my new friend Talli. She wrote me, " I feel very strongly that you should take up Marcia's offer to stay with her for El Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe and the procession to the shrine, known as the peregrinacion. You too can be a peregrina. People start the march/walk all this month of November from all over the country and converge here on Dec. 12. It is just your cup of tea. But mainly I feel that you and Marcia were meant for each other right at this time and place. Don't hesitate: That's my advice. . If that's not a clear sign then I would be blind or deaf to not heed the call.
It's been awhile since writing. So many thoughts and I am now having to reflect and distill so many experiences that have propelled me to go forward. From ancient sites in the Valley of the Caves to one of the oldest cities of the ancient world.
What will the designs teach me? What Spirits will guide my eyes to see and my heart to feel about the land and cultures I have come to treasure?
Jason came home late. The frustration of decision making my stomach do flip flops. Can I afford to go? Can I afford NOT to?
What path of destiny have I just signed up for??? I am grateful for his pressence; his excitement as we laugh as I accidently buy the very extended stay ticket. In my mind our friends who went to San Miguel Allande never to be seen again. The Cristo Rey Cabalgata....all of the calls south before time and life slip away. I didn't read the fine print. Now the churning feeling inside can be replaced with conviction to make the move. Just like being above the rapid and the inevitable approach and then the effort to get your boat and hold the line.
Yes Life is indeed too brief; I embark on the journey not knowing how much time one really has to do one's life work. This is more clear as people depart this sweet earth. It makes me think of how much I still need, want to do...so much to learn and see. Dots to connect and lines to erase.
To embrace the world, and jump into the expression of devotion.
It is almost 2;30 in the morning. Jason snores; HOPI radio plays softly in the background. A hot bath drawn to still the butterflies inside. The cold floats through the window with Our Lady poised looking at me as she has over the years. The
Monte Vista sign's red glow turned off. It is this strange hour of aloneness in the world. And yet not alone-it's more about feeling the smallness of self in this infinite space and feeling apart of it and thinking of how I really did get here??
I am thinking of my father's birth and his life; vignettes in photographs; His white hair now and always his kind disposition and curiosity.Tomarrow is a special day, my dad's 70th birthday.