13 June 2008

St. Anthony Day LOVE>fear

One of the most beloved of saints, his images and statues are ubiquitous. Proclaimed a Doctor of the Church on January 16, 1946, he is sometimes called "Evangelical Doctor". He is especially invoked for the recovery of things lost ("Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost and cannot be found.").

June 13
book; bread; Infant Jesus; lily
animals; barrenness; Brazil; Beaumont, Texas; elderly people; faith in the Blessed Sacrament; Ferrazzano, Italy; fishermen; Franciscan Custody of the Holy Land; harvests; horses; Lisbon; lost articles; lower animals; mail; mariners; American Indians; Masbate, Philippines; Cavite, Philippines; Sibulan, Negros Oriental, Philippines; oppressed people; Padua, Italy; poor people; Portugal; pregnant women; sailors; seekers of lost articles; shipwrecks; starvation; sterility; swineherds; Tigua Indians; travel hostesses; travellers; watermen

it's San Antonio WEEK! a big birthday party for the Patron Saint of My Pueblo, Casas GRandes. A fair has made home in the cener of town, and there's alots of praying going on as the world is going crazy! I learnt the baby jesus was stolen a year ago most likely to someone with a collection of ancient saints that don't belong to them- the town is still in the throws of the effects of the changing of the guard of the drug cartels...the effects of the drug wars are in my backyard and it makes me sad as I sense the growing fear and uncertainty; WHAT to DO? who knows what's going on and what will happen???
; What will happen to this town , this world I love so much???

Fear has come here. How can I make it go away??? What if I died today because of a stray bullet from some drug war I'm not apart of ? My neighbor tells me to be careful...to not go out... but I will not live in fear.. by going out I watch the rains come. What are we suppose to do? Hide? Stop living? Stop engaging in LIfe itself? I could die in a car wreck anytime anywhere. Or have a stroke right on the spot...Anything can and will happen at anytime... That is what Bennett's death taught me...you are here one day and gone the next.... this is true and who can imagine what will be and when??

I had a profound moment on my third ride on the Wheel of Fortune last night as the storm clouds gathered in the valley and the smell of rain hung in the air offering reprieve from the heat; Around and around on the wheel of Fortune I went...the only place to get above and commune with the sky. A love song full of longing blasted out through the dark sky, the lights of the rides, the pink and dark sky looming...lightening in the distance; I didn't get it in a picture nor was I struck down as I sat at the top and felt tears well up behind my eyes. I feel I'm in a movie.

No. I will NOT live in fear. I am an artist. I signed up to show up not give up. I leave my pueblo tomarrow. It's always heart breaking to leave every time....so to fight my own feelings of doubt I can only think of riding the Reya De Fortuna! Let me see this valley as night falls. this song rising through the trees, Y VOLVER by LOS ANGELES NEGROS spins my yearning, I am dizzy with emotions, sorrow, hope, love...around and round we go....what if it were to all end with one stroke of lightening?? I question the faith of what I've seen. I remember this holy garden. All the grandmother's praying....Saint Anthony the finder of lost things, chino negros, of watermen, and infertile women....I send my deepest wishes out to all these spiritual helpers; Please help us find our peace, our tranquility, our common thread; The Dark Angels are singing. crooning to return again and again...... the rain begins to fall and I know that simple beauty and grace exist and this is what I must focus on. The Fortune Wheel turns. I still have a couple tickets left for one more ride . The carnie takes me to help me find the song I never want to forget....maybe a miracle will happen and sweet baby jesus will be returned.

Youtube: Angeles Negros Y Volvere

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